Goodbye Sweet Girl

I must say, registration day is an interesting day at the beginning of every school year. You meet twenty-plus children and their parents in a few short hours. They look around your room, sometimes share problems and family situations, pay fees, get a supply list, and leave. You spend the next couple of days trying to figure out what your year is going to be like.

A sweet, quiet girl was brought to school by a bus on Registration Day this school year. No parent, no fees, no questions, no words. She did not speak...I wasn't sure if she knew any English. She would giggle and tuck her head when I spoke to her, but never gave an answer.

The first day of school arrives, and you try to see if you can recall the names of the students you met on registration day. You automatically begin assessing each student. You give them "fun" activities so you can assess their writing skills, their listening skills, and a variety of other abilities. You quickly delve into testing each child's vocabulary, fluency, comprehension, computation, and verbal skills. You give timed tests, computer generated tests, and math tests. Tests, tests, tests! You try to see what your students know, and who needs help.

A sweet girl knows no sight words. She reads zero words per minute. She does not know how to add, subtract, read. Does she know any English? After working with her for a while, I come to the realization that she only knows part of her ABC's, some colors, and some shapes. Still the same sweet giggle and the shy look.

You get into contact with her teacher from the previous grade and location. She tells you that she's probably an illegal, and that she just "put her in front of a computer" and tells you that you "shouldn't worry with her much." What??? This infuriates you, and you are determined to help this girl learn to read and to feel successful.

You work with this sweet girl every second you get to. You read to her, teach her ABC's, show her flash cards, and do everything that you can think of to help her. A few months after school begins, she is beginning to talk more and more. She is learning.

A sweet girl came to America with her father. It was a traumatic experience. She had to leave her mother and brothers and sisters. She longs for her mother. She talks about how her dad does not love her mom anymore and how she misses her mom. She is embarrassed so easily when talk of mothers comes up in the classroom. She tells you that she wishes you could be her mother.

I sit and listen in amazement as this sweet girl reads a first grade book to me at Christmastime. I get tears in my eyes. I tell her over, and over, again how proud of her I am. I hug her and tell her how smart she is. We keep practicing and she keeps learning.

You wrap up your school year. You clean, move furniture, average grades, return books, and prepare for the end of school. You think about each student and the progress they have made throughout the year. You try to determine if each child is ready for the next grade. She can read at (almost) a second grade level. She gets along great with her classmates. She chats and plays. She comes and tells me stories like other children in the class.

Today, I said goodbye to a sweet girl. I knew today would be hard. I knew that telling her goodbye would be so very difficult for me. She stopped in the doorway and looked at me. I told her how much I love her and that I am so proud of her. She tucked her head, giggled, and said, "I love you, too." My heart hurt. I pray that the love of Christ that I tried to show her this year, is something that she will remember. I am not sure where she will go to school next year, or if I will ever see her again. Goodbye sweet girl!

To Blog, Or Not To Blog...

That was my question!

I love the idea of sharing my thoughts with anyone that cares to read. I have enjoyed reading the blogs and praying for many of the bloggers I have come across. It seems like a fabulous idea, though I must admit that I have been concerned about the privacy issue, the judgments that may be made about me, and the unfamiliar world of creating a blog. As you can see though, I am throwing caution to the wind with my wild ideas... so here goes nothing!

My plans for this blog are to simply share my thoughts, vent, relieve stress, and encourage anyone who decides they would like to read.

Tonight, my thoughts include:

1. Trying to lose baby weight
2. Not wanting to return to work from maternity leave
3. Feeling successful as a mommy
4. Marriage...not just a feeling

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My definition of BABY WEIGHT(n.)-The excess donuts and pizza that my baby obviously did not need, that I am now left to deal with.

Babies can wreck a body! I waited almost a year after having my son before I tried to get rid of the weight that I gained with him. I gained about 35 pounds. Postpartum depression played a role in the delay...or maybe it was the other way around. I also gained 35 pounds with my daughter. I started working out again when she was 6 weeks old. There has been NO sign of depression this time around. I am currently addicted to working out. Not really. It just makes me feel so darn good. I am making progress. I am currently down 30 pounds. I would like to lose more than I gained so my children will never remember their mother was somewhat unhealthy. I also think that I am done having babies, so I hope to never have to deal with BABY WEIGHT again.
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Return From Maternity Leave

In just about three weeks, I will be returning to work after being home with my children since December 17th. I have learned a few things that I am surprised to discover.

• I have learned that I love my children more than life itself.
  
• I have learned that being a full time stay at home mom is SOOOO hard.
  
• I have learned that since I do have to work (for insurance purposes) I have picked the best job there is...summers off!
  
• I have learned that my ministry is showing Jesus to my students.
  
• I have learned that God is not absent in my classroom, though it is a public school.
• I have learned that life's situations are what you make of them.

My son loves his school. He goes 3 days a week. He spends the other days with his 2 grandmothers. As for my daughter, I will miss my darling baby girl, will cry like a baby when I leave her for the first time, will be wrecked with guilt that I am not there for her, and will count down the minutes until I can hold her. What can I do though??? I will make it through, so will she. I have explained to her that I need her to share me with my other 22 children who are missing parents, Christ, comfort, a feeling of safety, approval, and unconditional love. I think she understands:)

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Top 10 Things That Make Me Feel Successful As A Mommy
(In No Particular Order)

1. Smiles
2. Laughter
3. Hugs and Kisses
   
4. Making any kind of shopping trip with 2 children and not losing my cool
   
5. Seeing my son share the train at Davis Kidd
6. Being able to provide for my children
7. Watching my son try to comfort his sister
8. Listening to my son's enormous vocabulary
9. Knowing I gave my children life
10. Having my son remind us to say our prayers

Here are a few pictures of the faces that fill my soul with love, delight, and awe!







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MARRIAGE

As I was reminded by a fellow blogger, marriage should not be based on a feeling. If you go into marriage thinking that you are always supposed to feel a certain way...it will surely fail. I needed to be reminded of a few points. I thank MckMama for her reminder. I have struggled with this lately. I appreciate my husband for who he is. I need to remind myself that we stood before God and made a promise. We did not promise to stay together as long as things were all lovey-dovey and roses. We promised for better or worse. It is a lot easier to stay happy together if you look for all the good in your relationship. It is not always going to be perfect, but the great times are soooo worth the struggles. I love my husband and I know that if God is for us, who can be against us????

I Love This Man (and little man:)!