"My Baby Is Getting Married !"

Rachel and I have been best friends for about 13 years. She became a mommy to a sweet little boy almost two weeks ago. Last weekend, I took Logann to see Tyler. I think it is always a best friends' dream to have your children marry each other. We have joked and talked about it a lot over the past few months. As I saw them laying on the blanket together, I knew that it truly is highly unlikely that Tyler and Logann will get married, but I did come to the realization that ONE DAY, my little Logann will get married. For that matter, so will my little Matthew. I know it is A LONG WAY off, but it hit me like a ton of bricks! I have been praying a lot already for the people my children will one day marry. It's amazing what moms think about! Though Tyler would make an excellent husband, if he is ANYTHING like his mommy and daddy, only the Lord knows the plans He has for my children. I look forward to seeing His plans unfold, and I plan on enjoying EVERY minute! I hope you enjoy the sweet pictures of Logann and Tyler!

Goodbye Sweet Girl

I must say, registration day is an interesting day at the beginning of every school year. You meet twenty-plus children and their parents in a few short hours. They look around your room, sometimes share problems and family situations, pay fees, get a supply list, and leave. You spend the next couple of days trying to figure out what your year is going to be like.

A sweet, quiet girl was brought to school by a bus on Registration Day this school year. No parent, no fees, no questions, no words. She did not speak...I wasn't sure if she knew any English. She would giggle and tuck her head when I spoke to her, but never gave an answer.

The first day of school arrives, and you try to see if you can recall the names of the students you met on registration day. You automatically begin assessing each student. You give them "fun" activities so you can assess their writing skills, their listening skills, and a variety of other abilities. You quickly delve into testing each child's vocabulary, fluency, comprehension, computation, and verbal skills. You give timed tests, computer generated tests, and math tests. Tests, tests, tests! You try to see what your students know, and who needs help.

A sweet girl knows no sight words. She reads zero words per minute. She does not know how to add, subtract, read. Does she know any English? After working with her for a while, I come to the realization that she only knows part of her ABC's, some colors, and some shapes. Still the same sweet giggle and the shy look.

You get into contact with her teacher from the previous grade and location. She tells you that she's probably an illegal, and that she just "put her in front of a computer" and tells you that you "shouldn't worry with her much." What??? This infuriates you, and you are determined to help this girl learn to read and to feel successful.

You work with this sweet girl every second you get to. You read to her, teach her ABC's, show her flash cards, and do everything that you can think of to help her. A few months after school begins, she is beginning to talk more and more. She is learning.

A sweet girl came to America with her father. It was a traumatic experience. She had to leave her mother and brothers and sisters. She longs for her mother. She talks about how her dad does not love her mom anymore and how she misses her mom. She is embarrassed so easily when talk of mothers comes up in the classroom. She tells you that she wishes you could be her mother.

I sit and listen in amazement as this sweet girl reads a first grade book to me at Christmastime. I get tears in my eyes. I tell her over, and over, again how proud of her I am. I hug her and tell her how smart she is. We keep practicing and she keeps learning.

You wrap up your school year. You clean, move furniture, average grades, return books, and prepare for the end of school. You think about each student and the progress they have made throughout the year. You try to determine if each child is ready for the next grade. She can read at (almost) a second grade level. She gets along great with her classmates. She chats and plays. She comes and tells me stories like other children in the class.

Today, I said goodbye to a sweet girl. I knew today would be hard. I knew that telling her goodbye would be so very difficult for me. She stopped in the doorway and looked at me. I told her how much I love her and that I am so proud of her. She tucked her head, giggled, and said, "I love you, too." My heart hurt. I pray that the love of Christ that I tried to show her this year, is something that she will remember. I am not sure where she will go to school next year, or if I will ever see her again. Goodbye sweet girl!

Not Me! Monday

Here I am again to announce to the world few of you who read my little blog all the things I did NOT do this week. So here we go again...

This week, I did NOT seriously consider changing my name. I DID NOT here "Mrs. Jones" more than a million times throughout the week at school. I DID NOT here "mommy" more than 3 millions times. As posted earlier in the week, I did NOT think that "Fred" would be a more suitable choice. I never knew I could NOT go crazy from simply hearing my own name!

Last week at school, you would NOT have heard me say any of the following things to students:

• We do not hang from the bathroom walls!
• You are making my hair turn gray!
• If you drive like you lead a line, you're going to wreck!
• Only 5 more days of school! Yea!

Matthew was sick with strep this week, and I most certainly did NOT go for the shot of penicillin instead of the 10 days of antibiotics. After said shot, Matthew did NOT cry for 10+ minutes, which did NOT make me feel like the worst mother in the world for wanting to simplify my life at his expense.

Matthew did NOT get in trouble for throwing a plastic screw driver at his sister. I did NOT tell him to go to his room, and that he would NOT be getting a spanking (which happens rarely, and the waiting is NOT the real punishment!) With no real plans to spank him, because I knew that he was NOT still feeling puny, I did NOT go into his room to talk to him about the seriousness of his actions. When I got into his room, I did NOT see a red leg and did NOT here Matthew say, "Mommy, I panked myself." :O I was NOT upset that he had "panked" himself.

This week, Logann did NOT roll over dozens of times. I did NOT keep telling myself that it was the first time she had done this to keep myself from crying. I do NOT feel extremely guilty for possibly missing such major events due to work.

Confession is a great feeling. Go check out what others have NOT confessed on MckMama's site just for fun! I hope you DO NOT have a wonderful week!

Prayers!

For those of you that read my little to do list, I would like to announce that one of the items is now completed, yet I am not satisfied...I want MORE! Mr. Matthew decided to get sick. He decided to get Strep throat to be exact. I guess he thought that might be the only way to get some alone time with mommy. I did not go to work today. I took Logann to her school and stayed home with Matthew. Just us. I took him to the doctor, where he was diagnosed with Strep. He was given a shot of penicillin, after which he cried for almost 10 minutes :( I felt so bad. We went to Target to get him a few cars and then went home. After we got home, he did proclaim "Mommy, this is my best day ever!" Even really sick, he just loved being with me. I knew I would struggle with trying to divide my patience, time, and attention, but I never knew it would be this hard. Before bed, Matthew seemed to be feeling a little bit better, but please pray for him. Also, pray that I have more opportunities this summer to spend alone time with each of my children.

Good Intentions and ... A Name Change

Good intentions drive me crazy! There are so many things I want to do, even need to do, yet I don't quite know how to organize my time to get them all done. I have a list a mile long. Some of the "to do's" are things that need to be done around the house. Others are kind gestures that I want to do for people I know. There are even a few things that I want to do for myself (imagine that!) I guess I just need to prioritize and start checking things off my list...but where do I begin?

Below is a list of random things that I would like to get accomplished sooner, rather than later, or never!

1. start exercising again
2. clean the WHOLE house, not just a couple rooms at a time
3. spend the whole day focused only on Matthew
4. make dinner for a friend with a new baby
5. send a card to a woman who lost her husband and is dealing with depression
6. clean and re-stain the deck
7. clean the carpet
8. do something nice for my mom
9. spend the whole day only focused on Logann
   
10. organize the closet in my bedroom
11. take a friend to dinner so she can get out of the house
12. call a friend I haven't talked to in a while
    
13. organize the garage
14. get a pedicure
15. scrapbook Matthew years 1-3
16. begin Logann's scrapbook
17. take some time for myself

Wow...I am tired just thinking about it all. Well maybe I can start working on this list and not let my good intentions remain just good intentions. Wish me luck!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another note...are there ever days that you want to change your name??? Well, today is one of those days! At school, ALL DAY LONG, I heard "Mrs. Jones this?" and "Mrs. Jones that?" Then when I got home to a sick Matthew, I have heard nothing but "Mommy?", "Mommy?", "Mommy?"....and on, and on, and on, and on. I understand that I am lucky that he is able to call me mommy and that he is sick, and that he loves me oh so much, but I think I may change my name to "Fred."

Not Me! Monday

I find myself looking forward to this blog carnival each week. I guess
I need some time to confess my shortcomings...so here goes!

I DO NOT have a major confession this week, and DO NOT feel
absolutely horrible that I DID NOT lose my mother "cool." Upon
a very stressful morning, trying to leave the house to get to school
on time for a field trip, I DID NOT tell a fussy Matthew to "shut his
hole." I DID NOT choose the word "hole" instead of "mouth,"
mid-sentence, because I DID NOT think it sounded less harsh...NO :(
NOT ME! I DO NOT still feel guilty for losing my cool!

This week, on many occasions, I did NOT look around my house
and realize that every square inch was NOT covered by toys,
burp cloths, bottles, shoes, socks, and more toys. I did NOT
just step over most of the mess this weekend because I DO NOT
work full time and I DO NOT think that there is more to life than
a clean house. I DID NOT think to myself..."Maybe I'll clean
this summer!"

I DID NOT go on a field trip to a farm with my class this week,
and most certainly DID NOT let these children get muddier
than I have ever seen anyone. I DID NOT laugh, out loud, when
a child came to tell me she fell because she did not have mud
ALL OVER her face. I did NOT worry that some parents might
not be thrilled with the state in which they found their children
when they got home. I was NOT more concerned
with how much fun they had. I then did NOT have to come
home and use 60+ ounces of Shout and half a tub of Oxy-clean
to get the orange class shirts orange, again. I also did NOT decide
that my class t-shirts will be NAVY next year.

I AM NOT SO tired of politics. I try to stay away from
commenting on my views, whether it is on Facebook, with
friends at work, or with family. Everyone is entitled to their
own opinion...I am just NOT terribly aggravated by ignorant
people who just want to spout off talking points, meanwhile, they
know nothing. I DO NOT think if you want to have a real opinion,
you should NOT read, study, and THINK for yourself!

I am NOT so excited about the upcoming birth of my best
friend's baby, who was NOT due a week ago. I did NOT sleep
with my phone by my bed every night. I DID NOT pray for her
every day and night, and I most certainly have NOT called for daily
updates! I DO NOT want Logann's future husband to get here
already! I DO NOT love my very best friend, Rachel!

I did not have an absolutely wonderful Mother's Day. It was
NOT absolutely fabulous...no, NOT at all! I did NOT get the
best treatment from my sweet husband. I did NOT love the gift,
a heart monitor watch for working out, that he gave me...which
I have NOT been asking for since Logann was born. After
receiving the gift, I most certainly DID NOT feel a little pitiful,
and question his motives behind the watch (Does he think I am
so fat that I need a calorie counting watch?)...NOT ME...that
would be ridiculous. I DO NOT have the sweetest babies in
the world...NOPE! NOT ME!

I hope that you enjoyed reading all of my blunders, thoughts,
and imperfections this week...maybe you won't feel so bad
if youhad a rough week! Go check out some more confessions
on MckMama's site!

Not Guilt...Appreciation

I was supposed to be going to bed an hour and a half ago. I started reading other blogs of prayer requests on MckMama's blog. I read, cried, prayed, read, cried, prayed, and cried some more. I read about families losing homes and jobs, mommies and daddies losing babies, and loved ones dealing with illness. When I started reading the blogs, I felt kind of guilty because I have a home, a job, two healthy babies, and healthy family.

I realize that I am not immune to any painful event, and that quite honestly, one is due to come my way any time now. Though I will never meet some of these people who share their blogs with me, I feel called by my Lord to pray for these people.

I will pray for these people and take the time to tell God "thank you" for all of my blessings. I will take the time to hold my babies a little tighter and a little longer than I did yesterday. I will enjoy my early morning feedings with Logann. I will spend time with my husband laughing and enjoying him, because I can. I will go to work and go about my day happy, and without anxiety...praying that someone else can do the same one day. I will appreciate what my Lord has given me to enjoy today. I will not waste today because of "bad moods" and "stress." I AM BLESSED! I will appreciate what I have!

A Return to "Not Me! Monday"

I am definitely, absolutely, most certainly NOT thrilled
that MckMama is back to her thawed Tundra with
her more healthy sweet Stellan
and her MSC, so that we all can enjoy our weekly
tradition of "Not Me! Monday." It's been a while, but
I think I could share a few things that I definitely
HAVE NOT done in recent weeks.

To begin, I most certainly DID NOT give
up on exercising while my husband was out of
commission with the removal of wisdom teeth, and then two
dry sockets. Since that time, I have NOT regularly contemplated
getting up before work to start my obsession again,
but have NOT routinely talked myself
out of it. I also have NOT been eating absolute
junk for weeks now. Due to this, I most certainly have
NOT gained back a portion of
previously lost weight.

I am NOT a people person. Completely NOT!
I do NOT love spending time with my friends. I have
NOT been missing my friends lately. They have NOT
been on my mind constantly, and I have NOT
been worrying about them. I have NOT been praying
for them as they become mothers and want to
become mothers. I DO NOT think
that these women are going to be fabulous
mothers...NOT me! I have NOT been blessed by the
most wonderful friends...no NOT me!

I am NOT counting down the days until the
school year is over! I am NOT an exhausted 2nd grade
teacher who loves her students, but does NOT need a
break. I am NOT exhausted! I am NOT looking forward to
spending time with my children this summer.
I DO NOT have all kinds of ideas of things to do with
Matthew and Logann. I am NOT a little worried that this
summer might be a little harder than I
am imagining...with Matthew out of school, and me at
home ALL day with two children. I am NOT feeling
guilty that I am worried that I will have no time for myself,
and that I might go a little crazy:)

I did NOT go to bed last night at 7:00. I also
did NOT get to sleep through the night (except when Matthew
(what the heck???) woke me up at about 12:00) because
Logann DID NOT sleep through the night for the second
night in a row. I did NOT feel refreshed
this morning and am NOT still up way past my bedtime
writing this post! And now...I am NOT done writing my
post, and I do NOT hope that you all have a fabulous week!!!!!!!

***And P.S.---I DID NOT jinx myself...Logann woke up once
last night...

Logann has found her feet!

Look what little Logann has found!








TA DA!